


Lost Words

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: Adra Bán [13]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:33:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: A collection of drabbles and other ficlets based on the 'Lost Words Drabble Prompts' from tumblr.





	1. Patration   [Thaos]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rannadylin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rannadylin/gifts), [Filigranka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filigranka/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patration: perfection or completion of something + Fumificate: to make or cause smoke or incense.

Black fumes are veiling the sky – too thick for _just_ burning wood, but there is nothing the Huana can do about it now even if they noticed. He was not expecting failure, but he prepared for everything, and there still are some among the Wahaki who heed the words of the gods, who would do a small favour in exchange for a whispered blessing. His acolytes are screaming with fear, but they will lose consciousness before the pain begins; a small mercy.

A reward. They succeeded, despite all.

When Thaos looks up, Woedica is smiling at him through the smoke.


	2. Vacivity   [Thaos/the Watcher]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vacivity: emptiness + Caprizant: of the pulse, uneven or irregular.

The chamber is dark like ashes – _filled with ashes_ , a layer thick as a luscious carpet, reaching up to her ankles, knees, higher with every step. At the far end, there are familiar silhouettes outlined against the eerie glow of adra; they seem to be moving in the ghostly light. She calls them, cries that she is sorry, lifts her hand and reaches out... Pillars of ash crumble, blowing into her face and throat and lungs until she is choking...

Elwena wakes abruptly, instantly pressing both palms to her mouth to stifle a wail. It is a familiar nightmare, but she will never get used to it. It will never stop hurting; gods or no, some sins cannot be forgiven. Her heart is beating erratically, the sound too loud in the quiet room.

She glances aside, afraid that she woke Thaos, but by some miracle, he is fast asleep. Cautiously, she turns onto her side, scuttles close, lays her head on his shoulder and clings to him, fingers curled around his, her other hand pressed gently against his chest. His heartbeat is even; she closes her eyes, trying to focus on that.

There is a slightest change in Thaos’ breath when he wakes. He squeezes her hand lightly, leans in to kiss her forehead, but does not say a word. There is no need; they know each other’s nightmares by now. That was what brought them together – emptiness, the memories of that chamber – too full and too empty – always too vivid at the back of their souls.

Thaos starts stroking her hair – a regular, soothing motion. It is not love, and never will be. But in this new world, between the deafening silence and the too-perfect patterns meticulously put together from the shards of the past, he is her rhythm.


	3. Rimestock   [Kana]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rimestock: old almanac with runic writings.

His siblings, who look ahead, into the future, probably think he has wasted a lot of time. Kana sometimes wonders if he has.

He went across half the Eastern Reach only to end up in Dyrwood and find more questions than answers, and to return home empty-handed. That doesn’t necessarily mean the journey was in vain. Maybe no search ever is; maybe what counts is never to go back empty-minded.

It took him months of research, first in books, then in Engwithan ruins, to understand the simplest, most basic truth. The only tablet that counts is that of the soul.


	4. Redamancy   [Thaos/the Watcher]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redamancy: act of loving in return.

3

The stone under his knees is hard; her gaze is soft, eyes damp with tears. Ultimately, she is hurting herself more than him. But it has to be done; her hands are shaking, but do not stop.

It is her duty, not choice. He understands; ah, he knows that feeling so well. She understands him, too; knows why he considers death both a curse and a blessing. They remember.

A thought echoes is his mind – a feeling, put aside lives ago. But there is not enough time to unearth it.

Good, Thaos thinks. _Just_. She is already carrying enough burdens.

* * *

 2

There is an eternity between the edge of the cup and her lips. Many thoughts.

Her soul has been alight with yearning for months.

He will sleep better afterwards; he must rest to do his duty well. He cannot afford distractions, but craves a moment of peace. Just to breathe, count heartbeats.

She did what he had asked; broke her soul on the anvil of her will. Gave him her loyalty, obedience, devotion; heart, mind, soul. Everything.

His kiss is soft, careful. It costs so little to give her enough patience in return that she could mistake it for love.

* * *

 1

After that first too-hasty kiss, he makes amends; it is always step by step, without hurry. Like putting a hymn together from single words. A prayer against despair, a litany against emptiness.

He knows her face, every inch of her slender hands, the landscape of her body. A world in itself; much smaller than the one they lost, and yet somehow it can fill the void, if only for a while.

There is light in her eyes when she looks at him; more than just the glimmer of tears. As if he made her life brighter… Like she makes his.

* * *

 4

He reads old records, he talks to the Steward; even briefly considers inquiring about her past in a letter to his mentor. But he never tries to read her mind again. She forgave him; it is enough of a reason. He respects and admires her enough never to ask once she advised him not to.

Adhán dreams of a girl with fiery hair and a soul of flames and light – lady Eidis’ soul. In those dreams, she loves him. When he wakes, he wishes she would remember. Or forget. Just look at him like she used to, in another life.

* * *

 5

It took him ages to understand, to appreciate everything she had given him. To think about what he had done to her. He would do it all again, if he had to, but he… regrets. Wants to make it up to her because it is just.

Because he remembers enough to be grateful. He would kneel and worship her, if she let him.

Eidis still loves him; Thaos can read it plain as day in her soul. That is why he asks.

That is why he steps back when she refuses. She deserves to be free of him at last.


	5. Thysiastery   [Thaos/the Watcher]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thysiastery: sacrificial altar.

Her body is a temple; that is the only form of worship which still has meaning to him. The place where he can wordlessly say every half-formed thought he holds within his mind; silence is the only declaration Eidis accepts.  
  
He can offer nothing but fragments of his soul. She refuses, unless he gives all of it – yet so little is worthy of her. And still she takes it into her hands; it is too heavy, but she is able to lift it.  
  
Thaos has not truly believed in ages. But when she cradles his soul to rest, he does.


End file.
